Here's a list of my favorite quotations from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Where a quote is linked, click on it to hear the .wav file:

• The Candyman! The Candyman can cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good.



• Nobody ever goes in and nobody ever comes out.



• You’ll get a stomachache if you swallow it like that.



• Welcome my friends. Welcome to my chocolate factory. Would you come forward please?



• Delighted to meet you, sir. Overjoyed, enraptured, entranced; are we ready? Yes! Good! In we go!



• But hurry, please. There's so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.



• I'm a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time.



• Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous. Don’t be alarmed.



• You’re always making things difficult.



• If you have any problems, dial information. Thank you for calling.



• 99-44-100% pure.



• Just through the other door, please.



• Somebody’s touching me.



• Snozzberries? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?



• We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams. This quote is from Ode, the first poem in Music and Moonlight, a collection of poems by Arthur O'Shaughnessy.



• Excuse me...question time will come at the end of the session. We must press on.



• What is this, Wonka? Some kind of fun house?
  Why? Having fun?



• You can’t get out backwards. You gotta go forwards to go back.



• You should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about.



• My dear friends, you are now about to enter the nerve center to the entire Wonka Factory.



• Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities; and some of my realities become dreams.



• Don’t lose your head, Augustus. We wouldn’t want anyone to lose that...yet.



• Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three.



• Well, they can't be real people.
  Of course they’re real people.



• I’m sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing.



• Augustus, please don’t do that--my chocolate must never be touched by human hands.



• My chocolate, my beautiful chocolate!



• Don't just stand there! Do something!
  Help...police...murder.



• He can't swim!
  There’s no better time to learn.



• Oh, the pressure’ll get him out. There’s terrific pressure building up behind him. The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last.



• Impossible, my dear lady, that's absurd! Unthinkable!



• Because that pipe doesn’t go to the marshmallow room. It goes to the fudge room.



• Across the desert lies the promiseland.



• Hey, what kind of place you running here anyhow?



• Voulez-vous entrer le Wonkatania?



• All I ask is a tall ship and a star to sail her by. All aboard, everybody.



• If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid.



• You sure this thing'll float, eh, Wonka?
  With your buoyancy, sir, rest assured.



• Nothing to worry about, my dear lady. I take good care of my guests.



• You’re going to love this, just love it.



• Spitting’s a dirty habit.
  I know a worse one.



• There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going...is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing?



• Not a speck of light is showing
  So the danger must be growing
  Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
  Is the grisly reaper mowing?
  Yes! The danger must be growing
  For the rowers keep on rowing
  And they're certainly not showing
  Any signs that they are slowing!



• A small step for mankind, but a giant step for us.



• I can't take much more of this.



• Now remember, no messing about. No touching, no tasting, no telling.



• Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. This quote is from Reflections on Ice-Breaking, by Ogden Nash.



• You can suck ‘em and suck ‘em and suck ‘em and they never get any smaller.



• Everybody has had one and one is enough for anybody.



• Button, button...who’s got the button?



• Oh! I wouldn’t do that, I really wouldn’t.



• Stop...don’t.



• Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!



• Always goes wrong when we come to the dessert.



• It happens every time--they all become blueberries.



• I told you that I hadn’t got it quite right yet.



• Oh, well. I’ll get it right in the end.



• I got a blueberry for a daughter.



• Where is fancy bred? In the heart or in the head?



• A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.



• The Eggdicator can tell the difference between a good egg and a bad egg.



• There’s going to be a lot of garbage today.



• My dear lady, transportation has already been arranged.



• Just keep your eyes open and your mouth shut.



• That's it, ladies and gentlemen. The journey is over.



• If the good Lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented roller-skates.



• We have to be very careful. There's dangerous stuff inside.



• You should open your mouth a little wider when you speak.



• Stop...don’t...come back.



• Here it comes. There it is.



• For some moments in life, there are no words.



• Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow.



• What happened? Did we do something wrong?



• I am extraordinarily busy, sir.



• Wrong, sir, wrong! Under Section Thirty-Seven B of the contract signed by him it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void: "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera...fax mentis incendium gloria culpum, et cetera, et cetera...memo bis punitor delicatum!" It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole Fizzy Lifting Drinks. You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing!



• You lose. Good day, sir.



• So shines a good deed in a weary world.



• Just press a button and ZING! You're off.



• Hold on tight. I’m not exactly sure what’s going to happen.



• Don’t forget about the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted--he lived happily ever after.



• In springtime, the only pretty ring time, birds sing, "Hey ding A dinga ding." Sweet lovers love the spring . . .



• Invention, my dear friends, is ninety-three percent perspiration, six percent electricity, four percent evaporation, and two percent butterscotch ripple.
  That's a hundred and five percent!